btw, this is a long and meaningless post. i doubt anyone of you is going to read from the first to the last word. so go look for the links in my blog and go to their blog or wtv. or you can just press 'x' sign on the top right corner. if you are not gonna read this, don read a single word of it and go away.

..................................................................................................................
hehe. uhm i can explain. >.<"

well, this is the perfect time for blogging isnt it? ^^

3.17AM and i'm still here.

listening Pavane.

i wonder why...



i tried to explain my weirdness of staying up at this kind of time.

not busy with stuff.

but plainly just watching movie, sight reading scores, and listening music.


i find myself rediculously enjoying this moment.

perfectly calm and relax.


*********


i guess, i just love the quietness and lonliness of the night (early morning )

just before this post. i was so hot tempered.

i thought it was me.

but i guess not.


i couldn't bare the morning and afternoons.

everything is going on.

that's wat i despise.


****


being totally alone downstairs now.

i couldnt' just love it more.



mom, sis, granma all sleeping(obviously)

no sound.

the 'shhh'-ing of the fan.

and my window media player making sounds.(and youtube)

beautiful ones.


not like the morning and afternoons,

tv noise of granma,

electric shops behind my house making unbearable noise as if they are the only ones on earth.

cars in the neighbourhood which had its alarm set off and which seems like hours till its freakin owner manage to get his/her keys.

neighbour yelling to each other.

unbearable hot weather.

stupid ppl which i am suppose to communicate with.(and i dono how)

seeing ppl acting to stay good.

cars zooming around and not have a look at their engines.

yada yada.. etc....

(don wanna spoil my mood)


what my point is,

now..

i can on my music as loud as i want too...

listen to it carefully without no external noises acting on it.

no one demanding me here and there.

no one to act as if he had the power.

no one nagging.


you noe wat?

i used to be afraid of being alone downstairs at night.

haha. imagine that.


****

well, wat you didn't noe was that i was sick last night.

with unbearable headache....

minor fever....

my eyes were burning,

my head acted as if it had been poked on or something.


but i didn't went to sleep.

i stayed downstair.

watch tv till i couldn't stand the pain.


i dono why either,

just don feel like sleeping.

so yea, haha, i wouldn't go to sleep because i like the night so much. xDDDD


****

im such a loner

but that's me.

loner takes up 60% of me.

the other 30% is the laughing, high gei, as if i have no 'heart stuff'(chinese) in school

the other 10% is... i don care.


i'm not that always happy.

sometimes i do feel i'm fake. somehow.

but im getting real.

yea.

i was faker last time. xDD

i mean, literally.

fake as in i don represent myself.


**

i was asking myself.

when is the TRUE-EST me?


i'm true now.

since nothing is stopping me from being it.


but when is the 30% happiness of me true?

i think think think,

i thought thought thought.


and i've got none. xDDD

sometimes i laugh to lighten the atmosphere.

do make it seem... i'm laughing?

i dono.

for others to see i guess?


happy?

100% wans??

nah.

the closest i get is 95%.

of course there are times i'm superbly happy.

but there are always cons present aren't there?

you're happy

but you have other stuff worrying you in heart.

stuff that you cared of.


****


ar la. these are a bunch of craps

these are meant to go into my diary.

but mine's upstairs. =(

anyone go get it for me?


xX wtv. haha Xx
signing off at 3.47AM

i'm really in bad mood these days..

anything can trigger my boling point..

and hatred is acumulating inside me..


i long for justice..

i lost the trust..

but i freakin don care.

its you people who don see your own fault in any case.


what you see is only others fault.

but who is the cause.


and what's the freakin use of your eyes if you wouldn't just SEE.

just cut it off and i wont' blame you for not seeing.


you blind person.

the 2nd face of her made you think she is matured and wat the heck.


as if she will never start a fight and talk like she is a devil.


you never trusted me.

but trusted her devilish acting skill.


wats more is she doens't even think she did anything wrong.

how dare she go tell you when she is the one who is the cause.



i can see horns on her head.

longer and more crooked that i have ever seen on others.


she acted in your presence.

but i am the one who saw her devil.


but i'm dissapointed in you.

how can you not believe me.

i tried to explain.

but you dont take it in.


i owuldn't mention her devilish side to you.

dont waste my time.

but you made me say sorry.

i had to spill.


then you know you couldnt' blame me then.

and scolded her for a blink time.

your freakin stupid brain should have knew she would repeat this over and over again.


but wat was for me to say.

i hid it in.

i shut up when i was blamed forher faults.


but wat the heck.

since she was wrong.

i don pick fight on her.

and tat is the best that i could do.


but you asked for more.

you asked me to treat her well.


i don understand.

oyu are a failure.

a total failure.


she's a bitch.

but you adore that bitch.


could you just leave me in peace.

and just go away.


xX....Xx
cooling down. stop naggin me.

once,

sour was always there for me..

i was on top of its list of importance..

but i guess i just took it for granted,

and with my uttermost stupundeous brain thought that it would last forever.


now that sour's gone.

i realise how lonely i feel without sour..

there's no one to count on 24/7.

never have i missed sour so much.


though, it'll still be there sometimes,

but i ain't that special someone anymore.


to think that sour needs me more i never predicted this day,

and i found out i need it more then ever.


haihs,

i guess its my fault?

yea, thank you anyways.

xX haha Xx
xDDD


ps: don worry ppl, this ain't an emo post.
pps: and this sour person is just a fren that i miss talking to.
ppps: please stop guessing who sour is.

Straighten Up...

untangled all those tangles..

i guess i finally know the answer...

hahahaha....

damn faarrr-nnneeeeyyyy lah.. lol.


going genting on thurs. won't see me 2 days.

lol. i know i know. no one would miss me. lol


lam lam ask me go away! haha

lalalallalalaaal...


i'm kinda weird today.
don mind me.


toodles. ^^


xX miss Xx
missy you. =D

...

i watching drama..

...

with a blanket on me.


hahaha. and all i on is fan.

so cold lah today.


but i like! ^^

rain more rain more. xD

2012 : end of the world

watched this movie edy.

the first impression was great.

all the special effects and stuff were spectacular.

but i totally agree with the critics.

it DID NOT really arouse the 2012 awareness.

its didn't really made you think about the thruthness of this prediction.

even the ending was happy, leaving the audience thinking the thing might not be real anyways.

the movie was like a game.

the pilot drove the aeroplane like in game.

making this to be as if so fun.

...................................................................................................................................................................

so here comes the question.

what IF 2012 is the end of the world?

0.O

all these years, we had always thought the end of the world is child saying. impossible.

'who cares bout end of the world, well not me. i'll be dead by then. let the ppl that time worry.'

but 2012, is 3 freakin years away ok. 3 years till you die, aint short ok.

TAKE THIS FREAKIN SERIOUSLY.

ok, maybe you are not convinced, since scientist has got this prediction wrong several times.

but ...

death

is something that wont just happen during end of the world.

its gonna happen anyday anytime.

SO WHAT IF THIS 2012 THING DID NOT HAPPEN???

think bout this..

one could walk out of the road and got crashed by a car.

one could get murdered for no reasons.

one could die for unknown sickness.

this shows how fragile life can be.

err... actually no need read de. i just wrote out my tangling messy thought out. seriously. no need read


can you believe it?



one year... (almost)

few more weeks and i'm not a form 4 anymore.

what awaits me are unpredictable.

well, life is unpredictable.

i totally understand that now.


been through a year.

this is definitely not an easy.


i start off real sad, stress, frustrated, helpless, pathetic, useless, unconfident, being blamed on, being wrongly justified.

that few starting months were really hard on me.

life back then was unbearable. now that i thought of it,

its already so long ago.


questions that i strained to find answers.

disasters i tried to refrain from.

worries i fear.

results that i hid away..


from worrying, and living in anxiety...

now is far over.


stuff that i once cared about.

are merely a pea now.



if you had to say, i really did learned a lot this year.

learning from the bads,

and changed for the better.

learning from the goods,

and tried to be that.





i learned that,

in life, you may have done a lot.

sacrificed a lot for a certain stuff.


but with one harmless thing you've done wrong.

you'll be the one for the blame.


i always scolded those characters in dramas,

for being wrongly blamed but yet not tell the thruth.

expecially in korean drama.

but now i understand,

i really do.

sometimes you just cant do much.





i learned that,

if you always cared about wat ppl think of you.

you'll leave in sorrows.

the way ppl treat you.

ppl think of you.


is it THAT important.


expecially with those useless suckers.

do you need to care.


well obviously no.

as long as you noe you did nothing wrong.

wtf. who cares. well, not me.


i've always say.

ppl who didn't like me.

i dont like them too.

they aint worth for me to hate.




but there are stuff that i learned too.

in a good way.



i think the BEST MEMORY i had this year.

is in PMO CAMP.


i learned how good ppl around me can be.

i learned to trust.

i learned to share joys.

i learned to work in a group, in a form.

i learned how to sacrifice for my frens. ( that hot games under the torturing suns )

i learned to be grateful for the others.

i learned to help.

i learned to be help.


those day,

during the camp.


how tired all of us can be.

we never gave up.


PMO...

a place where i learned the MOST FROM.

if you didn't know.

all the stuff i wrote up there is all learned from PMO. lol


i will never forgot the days living in school.

its the family feeling that i cannot forget.


4 years ain't short.

it makes me feel old thinking back.


its like almost all our batch.

you understnad them like you never had.


especially lam ar, zi xin ar, jia hui ar..... and................................... 2810841608743614 how list all. lol


you know wat you can do.

you noe wat makes them angry.

you noe wat you need not care.

frens that i'm close to or not.

had changed me in certain ways.

all of the ppl i thanked earlier.

really appreciated it.


friday saturday repeating.

competition that time sommore everyday.

i love you guys.


i'm happy because of you guys.

but i'm also sad sometime because of those guys.

my secondary life is full with you guys.





to be continued....

YOU NOE WAT????

actually ar...

i dono wat to post about.

=.="


i hate you.

bye


xX go die lah Xx
don wan see you next life.

finally everything is settle...

but now i got pn loo phobia. haha. nvm.

i suddenly had this feeling.... being grateful to all the people around me.

those who had helped, those who had cared, those who were there.

THANK YOU!! * i noe this is random.

Thank You....

mom for being the best mom in the world.

granma for being the bext granma in the world.

wenn for being the best fren in many ways and never fail to make me happy and hyper. to make me emo-less. ^^

lam lam for being the listener. for sitting with me in class accompany me.

zi xin a.k.a mama for taking care of me during terenganu competition and being so fa qiao. xD

hui qing for being the best practice partner and being so cute. =D

hong ken for helping me so much in pmo and didn't blame me when i got him into trouble. sorry in a way too.

jia hui for being so freakin blur and let me bully. xD

shun-ting for being my lao po. but divorce edy. haha

wei loon for being the best di zi buddy, best science tutor and best guy buddy.

yi xian for being always there( most of the time) to chat when i'm sien. and never complain. ^^

chan hon for his earthquake-people-jumping stunt whenever i'm sleeping. lol.

tan jie for being the best and only di zi teacher and sending me home from terengganu and having responsibilties for my safety. sorry in a way. lol. real nice person.

jia yee for being the sweetest girl and fren.

joo lin for letting me scold.

desmond for being so nice to kacau, nice and lame fren. a caring one too. and try to be be the happiest and emo-less and responsible person. * when you read this, don say zadou, but quite long liao lah. 3 sentence wei. hahah. *

tian ming for temaning me take bus and being one of the nicest person i know

yeap chin for being making me laugh of his perasanness.

gerald for always argueing with me and being a real nice person, although i always scold him. xD. but thats the fun part. haha

christine cheah for being the only primary and the best one i still have till now.

joelyn for being the best tuition buddy.

celine for being nice tuition fren.

wee heng for his kia su ness and perasan ness.

shu-mei for her open-ness and optimism.

mei zhuen for being a sapo. xD

hong jian for being a gentleman always.

yee qian for helping me with my treasure games during camp.

mui yee for helping me queue and take my food guring installation.

poh khee for being the ultimate helper during treasure games.

ray aun for being nice and teach me rubics.

suzanna for being act cute-ness. haha. and being real cute.

shuk ling for saying she miss me all the time.

zi ling for always saying SORRY. xD

chun chee for being my '死废材' senior. xD

chun wai for being the ultimate funny senior.

yi lyn for being the caring senior.

wei lian for being the 'jin1 gak4' senior.

wye xiangfor being the humble senior.

mr terry for being the best add maths tuition teacher.

pn chan for being the cutest chemistry teacher.

siew ling for calling me 'kai hui jie' xD

heng yan for making the car journey not that sien.

wei chean for being the only fren i know since kindergarten.

ji cheng for being my best guy cousin and childhood fren.

khin khuin for being the class joker.

siva for being the funny and weird joker.

ming lyn jie jie for being my cousin.

joanne for being the sa po -est. lol

mon yun for not bringing her brain all the time. xD and let me zhat her. haha

zuo hao for teaching me chemistry polymer. and help me score one mark in the exams. haha.

tian huey for taking care of me during terengganu competition.

dad for being a nice dad.

jon for being the only fren i have in singapore and always chuan me. haha

yen theen for being the best secretary and helped me in many pmo projects.

hong liang for being the presiden aka papa of pmo. and a caring senior.

seng yang for being the dao gei senior and chuan one too.

xin hui for being the nice senior to chat with me.

yik men for being a humble senior.

lian foong for lending me his shoulder to lean on during he zhou. xD

chun hoe for being insulted by me all the time and do lame stuff with me. xD

wern yean for being the cutest junior ever.

yee wei for her smile and cute. =)

yi yan for helping me keep my stand all the time. =)

rong sheng for letting me hit him and listen to my complains. lol

wye-ming for being the class joker during form 2

ching pei for letting bully, like seriously, and like totally don mind de wei. =.=!!!

chiew ting for simply just being nice.

sook wei for being the sa po and chat with me right b4 her band interview. haha

ley kuan for being smart. hahahaha

valerie for being the tuition buddy in mrs teh for so long alrd.

jun leng for being ONCE my FIRST tuition buddy. haha

alison for being cute and friendly and being the one whom i get to know in the weirdest way. YOU NOE WAT YOU DID. by calling me XXX. ==

jonathan for being nice? lol. i dono. i;m just listing all the band members. haha

boon chang for talking to me in class occasionally. err.. dono

dylan for asking miss sim to choose me as bio rep. NOT. ==

shu ling for letting me copy her homeworks and being nice.

shu li for talking to me in science lab.

yi-yu for being the dai ga jie and ONCE by best high gei tuition bud.

shen wen for being the nice-diff-group senior.

li ying for being the advisor and buying me 100+ during lsat year competition when i was suddenly sick during he zhou.

yee min for being strict and scary. xD

si jun for being super scary. lol lol.

henry for being the one to connect me after being seperated after primary. and rating my blog as the NEIRDIEST BLOG. not.

joshua for being the person to let me zhat celine. haha

mr teh for being my first tuition teacher. which is standard 2. which enables me to never use 'never' instead of 'didn't', pronouncing 'Wens-day' instead of 'wen-NES-day' lol and a lot of other common grammar mistakes.

shi yi for being my treasurer boss. x)

chuen hong for helping me so much.

chee han for being super friendly and funny senior. xD

arthur for being once a primary fren. and for still rmb-ing me till now. for calling when i was in atria browsing wii games. lol

wee kii for like being the sweetest and nicest fren during primary.

jin zhi for being the ONCE best frend.

扯铃老师 for teaching me 扯铃 lah of course. haha. and being so freakin nice to be the one to connect back to me after so many years. and teaching me the love for chinese traditional games which was my life before music came to me. thank you. i enjoy 扯铃 very much. and i'm proud to say i noe how to play it. and teaching me success doesn't come without SWEAT. lol. and a lot of fallings.

1st edit

2nd edit (oct 28)

surprise to see your name here?

surprise to NOT see your name here?

well its because...

my mind think no there. blank now. haha

just to say, whoever you are, you have been a person that came into my life...

important or not..

person i know or i dont...

person i've met or not...

you guys had changed me in some ways.

towards the perspective of life

and made me who i am today.

thank you. THANK YOU ALL.

what you guys had done to me cannot put into such short words.

even if i've hated you, disagrees with you, and you have done something bad to me.

THANK YOU STILL.

you have taught me NOT to be someone like you.

you have taught me ways to bear with ppl like you.

you have taught me that there always gonna be ppl like you in life.

^^

thank you to everyone in the world. ^^

off now. bb.

xX haha Xx

this is hilarious.xD

saddening...

wasn't seeing this coming i guess....

actually....

i did. xD


last time during terengganu alrd dicussed about this with hong ken.

he say he will not let it happen.

but it still did.

lol.

well, it has nothing to do with him anyways.


just went to see the so called windy's blog. lol lol.

semangatnya they all. haha

i asked tan jie to go see liao..


maybe he will see until until until...

cry? lol. just saying.

so touching mah hor? lol


walao eh.

sommore ruey ying say chuen hong created a group in facebook call ' we need tan jie'

lol. ZADAO!!!



wah. tan jie, YOU SHOULD BE SUPER TOUCHED WEII!!!

see... you shall see how concerning we are.

haha. xD


you happy or not?? xD


but guys, don worry so much first k??

sigh. shall wait for the outcome of our dicussion session with pn loo first.

will tell you guys as fast as possible lah..


don worry lah....

don worry so much.....

worry no use........

make you sad only.....


been having this thing is mind whole day after i noe about this...

keep thinking of wat to say..

THINKING STRATEGY.

lol.

no strategy sure let pn loo win.

haha.

cannot cannot.



dono wat to say..

emo-ing....


xX == Xx
....

{{**::http://musiciousity.deviantart.com/ :::**}}

do visit when free. ^^ and comment.

although those are not real good.

hehe... just scraps. xD

Life Brief Candle.....

typical candle shot.

fire shot.

the white light up there is wat that makes this shot special.

personal fav.

personal fav

for more pics and close up pics.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=321632&id=625535313&l=be1f81b6aa

xX light Xx

firoscious....

ps: told you my blog ain't dead. xP

The Man in the Vineyard

oh man.

i'm hooked up weii!!!

not good...

not good.....

still got exam...

hooked up....

HOOKE'S LAW!!!

lol.

i think you guys are going to get tired with these random scientific terms.

haha.

oh well.

just telling you guys this korean drama is really nice. xD

lol.

a drama worth for me to watch till 4.15AM is definitely a good one.

xD

tata

xX HOOKE'S LAW Xx

for hooks...

1 more day till DOOMS DAY..... T.T

pressure....

FEEL THE PRESSURE!!!!!!! >.<

pressure....

water pressure, atmospheric pressure and gas pressure.....



according to Boyle's Law..

when the pressure increases, the volume decreases.....

relating Boyle's Law to kinetic theory..

its shows that when the gas is compressed, the no. of particles per unit increase. therefore, the frequency of collision between the gas particles and the wall of container increases resulting in the increase in the pressure of gas.

this means.....

when the exam pressure acting on me increases, the volume of my brain decreases.

thus,

when i have pressure, i cannot study.....

conclusion: i should not have pressure. xP


The Pressure Law....

pressure is directly poportional to its absolute temperature.

when the temperatue of a gas in a container rises, the average kinetic energy of the gas particles increases and move faster. hence the gas molecules collide with the wall of the container more frequesntly and more vigorously. this increase the rate of change in momentum and hence, the pressure increases.

So....

when the weather gets hotter ( temperature rise), i cannot study well, so i have PRESSURE!!!

thus...

i should on air-cond when the weather kills.

conclusion: malaysia should have for season. xD or i shouldn't be in malaysia. alternative methods.



Charles' Law..

volume is directly poportional to the absolute temperature.

when the temperatue increase, the kinetic energy increase.the gas particles moves faster and collide more frequently with the wall of the container. thus, the pressure that acts on the wall of the container increases. since the volume of the gas is allow to increase freely, the gas expands, with its pressure decrease until the internal gas pressure is equal to the pressure exerted externally.

So....

when the temperatuse increase, the knowledge particle in my brain collide more frequently. and pressure acts on the wall of my brain.

if this continues....

MY BRAIN WILL EXPLODE!!!!( volume increase)

conclusion: i still should on aircond. xD

............................................................................................................................................

lalala~

lol. this is practicing.

lol.

hey ppl,

i spend my afternoon writing all the physics formula in a paper.

its ALL THE FORMULA FROM CHAPTER 1 TO 4!!

so, i;m just asking....

just asking.

if anyone wants it. xD

i suppose its all the formula.

and you ppl can refer to it to study in order to not miss out ANY FORMULA.

so... this is the offer. xD

bye peeps.

xX physics madness Xx

specific heat capacity

The OH-NO Look

haihs. its 3.45AM and i'm still here....

holding my bio book..

trying to swallow it...

chew it with my teeth for physical digestion.

then let it mix with my salivary amylase to break the starch down into maltose.

starch + water --salivary amylase--> maltose.

then it goes down my oesophagus through peristalsis.

then it goes to my stomach.

with secretion of hydrochloric acid, rennin, pepsin and mucus.

with the digestion of protein by pepsin and coagulating milk by rennin.

note: rennin convert soluble milk protein to insoluble casein.

it become a chyme and goes to my small intestine.

duodonum is the first phase, bile emulsifies fat.

pancreatic juice contain trypsin, lipase and pancrytic amylase.

ileum completes the digestion.

all the nutrients are absorbed into my blood stream through microbilli and into the lacteal.

note* and hopefully it enters my mind. >.<

and all these stuff enters the colon.

and the undigested stuff are the formation of faeces.

and undergo defeacation.

TADAAAA~

lol. good now i remember. xD

cool. never thought of this. xD this is cool.

WOKAY. i'm done with chapter 6.

stupid nutrition! i'd rather go malnutrition than studying this. xP

wtv. proceeding to chapter 7. respiration.

lol. i would rather die. lols.....

bb

xX digestion Xx

X(

I'M STILL ALIVE!!! *officially

just posting something.

to let you all noe..

I'M ALIVE!!!

lol.

i survived through 3 days of ADD MATHS!!!

FREAKIN 3 DAYS!!

but then other than add maths...

i technically started NOTHING.

that reminds me.

i gotta go study physics.

at 2.30am.

lol.

bye peeps.

xX pressure Xx

>.<

up at 2.51AM. =)

xX add maths-ing Xx
*yawn*

ps: went youtube and listened to 'sorry sorry sorry' by super juniors just now. and now i couldnt' get the song out off my head. argh. >.<

pps: the Zi Ling virus is getting me. AAAAAAA!!

LOVES <3<3

i spend like my whole morning, 4 hours or so.

TO LISTEN TO CLASSICAL MUSICS on YOUTUBE!

lol. damn freakin nice man.

CELLO and PIANO~

who doesn't just love them man.

bach's cello suite no. 1

fantasie inpromptu

la campanella by this japanese was damn freakin nice.

GAGA~

lol. lets stop the craps.

xD

tata~

xX cello Xx
@.@

EXAMS!!

lol i shall join in the exam-already-so-no-blogging movement like everyone else.

hahahaha. xD

i shall let this blog

DIE.....

CORRODE......

DECOMPOSE..........

lol lol. shall see you guys during raya hols i guess. ^^

DON'T MISS ME. lol.

bb

xX exams Xx

yada yada~ xD

I'm getting very impressed with myself!! xD

i woke up at 9 WITHOUT MY ALRAM CLOCK!!

again. xD

ON A SUNDAY!!!

which is very cool as you people might noe i can wake up at 11am if i want to.


i had a dreadful dream. another depressing moment.

haihs.


AND AR!! i found out loads of my frens already started hitting the books man!!

and i sincerely say that i have not start on the progress!!

NOT A SINGLE BIT.

this time i mean it.
how i wish i was kidding!!

i'm so dead.
so i shouldn't be on9.

xX sunday Xx
one more day of holiday.